Challenging Myself (and You) to Not Give a Shit

A recent goal in my life has been to “not give a shit” what other people think. In many ways this is easy for me, but there are still some areas this doesn’t come natural.

I was very caught up in rules as a child, but as an adult I don’t do well with being told what to do, or even more so, what not to do. I know what I want done, and I don’t really care if anyone else approves. Don’t get me wrong, if the rules are keeping people safe in any manner, I’m going to follow them, but I’m not going to blindly do what I’m told.

I Need to Not Give a Shit I’m Misjudged

I hate being misunderstood. In any situation, I don’t mind if people disagree with me, but I want to feel they understand my position. So, it has been hard to let go of being concerned about judgment based on misinformation. I mean, judge me all you want, but do it based on the truth. Another truth though is that I have no control over how people go about judging me, and it isn’t even my business. It is all on them.

"Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinons and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. - Don Miguel Ruiz

People base their opinions on life experiences and whatever info they come across. It isn’t my job to correct the conclusions they have formed. I can provide more information, but I can’t make them pay any attention to it. I can’t make them listen. And most of the time it isn’t worth it to even do that much.

Remember, people who are judging and talking about you apparently have very little going on in their life if they have time for that nonsense. If you are going to waste any time on them, pity them and move on.

I Struggle to Not Give a Shit While Fat

People have many opportunities to misjudge me. It’s the same for everyone. On a daily basis, this doesn’t bother me much, but one way it does is my weight. I’m fat, and I know how most of our world perceives fat people, especially fat women. Rude, hateful people make this very clear on social media quite often. Often enough, in fact, that I avoid posting body positive and fat acceptance topics sometimes because I’m not ready to deal with the backlash.

I also avoid some life experiences because I worry about what others will think based on my body. Do you understand? I’m letting other people limit what I do! In reality, their opinions don’t matter at all, because their assumptions about me are wrong, and none of their thoughts change anything in my life. My thoughts, opinions, and truth all stay the same.

If I’m happy and confident in what I’m doing, why should anyone’s opinion matter to me? If I don’t plan on changing my actions based on those opinions, they don’t need to affect me in anyway.

All the hateful comments and behavior are nothing to my knowledge of how harmful dieting is, what my body has been through, and the security I have that I’m doing what is right for me.

Your opinion is not my reality. Dr Steve Maraboli

My ability to not give a shit needs to expand and grow so I can live my life more fully as myself. This is a beautiful bit of self-love and self-care that is desperately needed.

Some Steps Toward “Not Giving a Shit

1. Realize that everyone judges (even you)

You aren’t going to escape from judgment. It is very important to me to pass as little judgment as possible, and yet I still tend to do it sometimes. The fact is, people are going to judge, but you don’t have to let it affect you.

2. Acknowledge the fact that you aren’t as important as you think.

Hear me out. You are a valuable human, no doubt, but maybe people aren’t paying as much attention to you as you think they are. Perhaps a big chunk of that judgment you think you are receiving isn’t even there.

3. Some things are out of your control.

We have our sphere of control, our sphere of influence, and then there is the sphere where we have no influence or control. Most things in life are out of our control, and we will all be much happier if we realize this.

Other people’s opinions of us are out of our control. We can control how much effort and learning we put into making decisions, but once we make them, the rest is usually out of our control. If something is eating at you, think of these spheres, and if it’s out of your control, let it go and work on not giving a shit.

4. You aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.

Not everyone is going to like you. That’s okay! Like that one saying, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who hates peaches.” Who cares? You can change everything about you in an effort to try to be liked by everyone, and it isn’t going to work. Instead, work on being the best, most authentic you possible.

5. Be authentic.

Speaking of authentic, always act that way and you leave nothing to condemn. People will absolutely still try, but what are they really judging? If you are honest, don’t lie, and make as well-informed decisions as you are able to make, there is no room for objection. I find that leaving nothing for me to question about myself makes it much easier to not give a shit what other’s may think.

So, are you with me? Let’s make 2018 a year of not giving a shit what other people think!

The author's name, Leigh, in red script, to the left with a coffee cup to the right.

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