Sometimes you know exactly what you want to write in your journal, and sometimes you need a little help to get going. Journal prompts come in handy for times like that. In this post I’ve got 11 journal prompts for you to use when working on self-acceptance.
What are my strengths?
What are my values?
If I wasn’t afraid, I would _____.
What does my inner critic tell me? How am I wrong?
10 things that cheer me up are …
If I could tell my past self anything, I would say _____.
What am I proud of?
My best personality trait is _____. Why?
Tape a picture you love of yourself into your journal . Why did you pick this one?
10 interesting facts about myself.
What three words would my closest friends use to positively describe me?
If you like this idea, let me know and I can make more lists of journal prompts.
New here? Wondering why you’d want to journal? Curious but not sure how to get started? Check out these links and see what you think.
Finally, I’m adding 38 Things I’ve Learned So Far in My 38 Years. It was fun to share so much about myself with you all. If you would head over to that post and leave a comment telling me something you learned in 2017, that would be awesome! I’d love to hear from you!
The movement celebrates body diversity in an intersectional way by honoring differences in size, age, race, ethnicity, gender, disability, sexual orientation, religion, class, etc.
HAES challenges scientific and cultural assumptions and values body knowledge and people’s experiences.
HAES encourages compassionate self-care by finding the joy in moving one’s body and being physically active, and also eating in a flexible manner that values pleasure and honors your body’s signs of hunger and satiety.
Why do I like it?
These basic ideas are what I love about HAES. It has helped many people realize that just because they aren’t losing weight, it doesn’t mean they can’t be healthy. I want to emphasize that, as someone with chronic illness, I understand that “healthy” is not a universal goalpost. Each of us do have our own personal health goals, even if being generally healthy isn’t in the card for all of us. Knowing there is no failure just because an arbitrary number isn’t reached on the scale is a relief to many.
Health At Every Size is not an “excuse to give up” any more than body positivity is one. Do you recall the part where “joy in moving one’s body” and honoring “your body’s signs of hunger and satiety” was mentioned? Yeah, that isn’t giving up; it’s finding what works best for you.
Embracing the HAES basics has helped me to love my body and care for it in the way that is best for me personally. It allowed me to see that while some bodies react to stress and food shortage by losing weight, mine holds on to it. I appreciate that my body is doing its best to care for me, and I love that previously this body would be the preferred type. After all, being able to hold on to weight would help in a famine. It’s isn’t my body’s fault that isn’t the current conditions. Dieting and chronic illness are different stressors with the same results for me as a famine.
So, Health At Every Size has been a wonderful thing for me and many other people. People misunderstanding the movement doesn’t change that fact, or the reality of what its purpose is.
It is easy to be critical of yourself when you are struggling with self-worth. If asked, you likely can list your shortcomings effortlessly, but I bet if I asked you to name your strengths you would have a tougher time. Being able to not only name, but also celebrate your strengths is a very important step for improving your self-acceptance and self-esteem.
When I was asked to make a list of 50 of my strengths, I couldn’t even think of five. If you have the same problem, maybe the steps I followed can help you too.
My process for finding my strengths
First, I wrote down any strengths that came easily to mind, and then I listed the compliments I remembered receiving. When I couldn’t think of anymore myself, I looked up lists of strengths and read through them for ideas. Anything you are good at – talents, hobbies, etc. – may give you more ideas of your strengths.
Here is a peek at my list:
I also saw a tip suggesting that you might find strengths in perceived “weaknesses”. For example: people who are messy tend to be creative, and if others find you boring, perhaps it’s because you are more realistic. Do you consider yourself a doormat? A positive spin makes you generous/giving. Try this with traits you find to be your weaknesses, and challenge yourself to turn as many as you can into strengths. “How to Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths” has more examples if you get stumped.
Celebrate your strengths
Using these ideas to help you, try to make your own list of strengths. You don’t have to start with 50, but give 10-20 a try. Keep at it until you meet your goal. Follow up by keeping an ongoing list. Some people do this by dedicating a few pages in their journal. Another great idea I saw on Pinterest was to write compliments about yourself on bits of paper, and put them into a jar. You can either read them periodically, or save them up to read in a year. Even keeping an notebook next to your bed is a good idea. Whatever method works for you is the right one.
Spending time each day to focus on and celebrate your strengths will slowly help you to change your perspective and increase your self-esteem. Your list will be there to remind you of your positive traits on days you are struggling. It is also a good reminder of all you have going for you even while you may have a few things you still want to improve.
Coming up with a list of 50 strengths was a daunting task, but I was so incredibly proud of myself when I finished. Make up your own list, and feel free to share your accomplishment with me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, or join us at Growing in Self-Acceptance and share there!
Someone recently asked me what this quote means to me. Why do I believe these words are true? Although the question surprised me, I thought it was a really good one. I gave them an answer after some consideration, but I really wanted to expand on those thoughts further here.
Why are we worthy of love? What makes me agree that love isn’t something we should need to earn? To me, when a child is born, they deserve love. We would never think to withhold love from them until they earned it. So, why do we think there is some arbitrary age that we suddenly do need to earn love?
Studies prove that love is as much a necessity as food, water, and oxygen. While we can all agree that it is wrong to withhold these life essentials, we tend to think that we don’t deserve love unless we prove ourselves. Love really is essential to our lives though. Of course it starts in infant-hood, and can make a big difference in how the child thrives or doesn’t. The idea is further pointed out in this blog:
As infants and small children, our first task is to get at least one of our parents to love us enough to meet our needs for sustenance, but also touch. With rare exception, the love and safety hormone, oxytocin, is released into our mother’s body, concentrating the focus of her attention on us … and this loving attention releases the same hormone in our body, ensuring we survive. As critical as food, shelter, sustenance are to our survival, they do not suffice in the early months and first years. Babies do not physically survive without love.
As studies of attachment show, infants and small children actively seek a love bonding with their caregivers. To live, newborns must form some type of bond, regardless whether it feels relatively secure or insecure, with their mother or a “mothering” person, at least one.
Later on, love is still very important. This article points out how our brains actually prioritize it over sex.
While many women may be convinced men’s brains are wired more powerfully for sex, Fisher says there’s evidence men are also powerfully wired for romance.
“Men fall in love faster than women do, because men are so visual,” she notes. “And three out of four people who kill themselves over love are men, not women.”
Fisher adds: “You know, this is a powerful drive, and an essential part of humanity. … It would be very unadaptive if men didn’t fall in love just as powerfully as women.”
You are worthy of love.
This quote puts the responsibility of you on you. It does not say you are responsible for proving love to others. Instead, you are responsible for searching out love for yourself and surrounding yourself with people who are able to provide it.
In other words, while all people do deserve love, this quote is not saying you have to provide it. If someone is a toxic presence in your life, it is okay to love them from a distance. It is their responsibility to find someone who can give them the love they deserve, and there is nothing wrong with that person not being you.
This is where self-love comes in to play. Knowing that you are lovable and worth taking care of will allow you to regulate who you have in your life. It is much easier to release negative people, who you may still love, from your life when you know that it is ok to take care of yourself first. Re-evaluate people in your life who do not add positivity and support. Give serious thought to either cutting them out, or at least scaling way back on how much they are allowed to have influence in your life. I’ve written more on self-love here and here.
Humans are social animals, and can not thrive without outside interaction. In fact, studies have been done showing how damaging solitary confinement is to humans. We are also wired to need to belong as mentioned in this post of mine. How can anyone think that love is not also wired in as a need and therefore something we do not need to earn or deserve? No, I’m sure you are worthy of love.
If you have any additional thoughts on this subject, please feel free to leave a comment or send an email. I’d love to hear from you!
Note: I want to thank the writers from the Westwind Recovery blog for guest posting today. I hope you enjoy their informative post on self-love during recovery.
Learning to love yourself after dealing with addiction is a slow but critical process that allows you to grow as a person. During treatment, you worked through difficult issues that led to your substance abuse, and you have conquered many painful events from your past. Now, it is time to show yourself a little love for all that hard work, and these six ideas will jump-start your efforts at self-improvement.
Spend Time with Your Pet
There is nothing like an animal for teaching you how to love unconditionally. Whether you own a dog, cat or fish, they do not care about the things you might have done in your past. All that they care about is enjoying your love in the present. Make sure that your new sober living arrangements allow pets so that you can bring your pooch or kitten along with you. Spending time stroking your pet’s fur helps to alleviate stress, and you will learn valuable lessons about what it means to have a companion who is willing to stick by your side.
Surround Yourself with Understanding Friends
Letting go of your friends from the past might have been necessary as part of your recovery. While it might be tempting to just live life alone, you should remember that loneliness can be a trigger for relapse. Find people who understand what it means to live with an addiction, and begin putting together a support network that includes a variety of types of people. Whether you meet with a mental health counselor once a week or enjoy chatting with your sober housemate, giving yourself people to open up to is a wonderful way to show yourself that you are valued by others.
Challenge Yourself Physically
Learning how to manage stress is one of the biggest gifts that you can give yourself. Make sure to treat your body with the respect that it deserves by making exercise a regular part of your routine. You can also turn your exercise routines into a mental boost by incorporating challenges into your workouts. For instance, you may choose to master surfboarding for the summer, or you could set reaching a new distance for your hikes as a goal. Hitting your goals will give you more confidence, and your body will quickly respond to your self-love by getting stronger and healthier.
Nurture Your Body with Healthy Food
Recovery is hard on your body, and you might have ignored your nutritional needs while you were dealing with addiction. Start exploring new ways to prepare healthy ingredients that are as delicious as they are nutritious. Consider pairing up with a housemate who loves gourmet cooking, or you could take a class from a nearby chef. Providing your body with the fuel that it needs to function at peak capacity is an important part of loving yourself, and enjoying a tasty meal is just a great way to start and end each day.
Learn Your Favorite Ways to Relax
Indulging in a few pampering sessions is warranted when you have gone so long fighting to get sober. While you can do your best to minimize stress, the truth is that life still goes on. Make sure to have a few tools in your plans for handling times when it feels impossible to relax. Jump in the hot tub, soak up the sun at the beach or just gather around the fire pit for some laughs with your friends. Your mental outlook will change once you discover that it’s possible to relax while you are living a sober life! Once you have a few favorite tricks up your sleeve, make sure to indulge in a pampering session at least once a week. You can even plan five-minute relaxation breaks such as rubbing lotion on your hands or inhaling an essential oil such as lavender so that you can fit little mini-breaks throughout your day.
Keep a Journal of Your Progress
During times of discouragement, remember that you can be your own best friend. Start a journal now that documents your progress, and don’t be shy about listing your achievements. From jotting down a quick note about that random act of kindness you performed at the store to creating a list of the times you made it through a craving, reading back through your shining moments gives you a light to use during times of darkness.
At first, it may seem selfish to show yourself love. Yet, you must nurture your body and spirit if you want to be a better person who can also help others. Use these six ideas as a guide to get started, but keep adding to it as you find out more about what makes you feel best. Then, be sure to share your strategies with others who may need a little boost along the way to a strong recovery.
Low self-esteem is not something that can be fixed in “10 Easy Steps” or after reading one life changing article. It is a process, but a process you can approach with fairly simple activities. In my previous post on self-esteem, I covered three activities. For today, I’ve collected seven more ideas on what you can do to overcome low self-esteem.
Take time each day to write down any negative thoughts you have. Getting them down on paper, and out of your head is a good first step to getting past them. Many times, once I write those thoughts down, I can see that either my mind has exaggerated the situation, or it is something easily fixed.
Work on surrounding yourself with people who celebrate your strengths instead of pointing out your weaknesses. You do not have to keep anyone around who tears at your self-worth. Get rid of as many of those people as possible, even if they are family.
I’m not saying you should surround yourself with “yes people”. Constructive criticism is very important, but constant criticism is not something you should have to deal with. If you walk away from an encounter with someone feeling worse about yourself, instead of encouraged or motivated, that is the type of relationship you should feel free to end.
Start the day on a positive note
Whether you like to laugh or prefer something inspiring or uplifting, find something that makes you smile in the morning. Start the day smiling, and it will be easier to have a positive outlook with all you do.
You can leave positive quotes around the house on post-it notes, check out funny videos on YouTube, or sign up to have uplifting stories delivered to your email, among other ideas. The options for this are just about unlimited, you just have to search a bit.
Discover and pursue your passions
Write down all of your positive qualities and your interests. Take a look at your lists, and see what stands out. Do you see any patterns or traits that stick out or really fit together?
My enjoyment of writing, desire to help people, and gift of empathy directed me toward blogging, but it took me until I was 37 to discover. Since she was two my daughter has adored baking. She has a real drive for it and always has. My oldest spawn has a talent for drawing. It has been a joy to watch their skill develop over the years. Drawing is something they do for enjoyment, and strive to improve their skills at.
Your passions might jump out at you, or it might take some contemplation. Don’t worry if it takes trying a bunch of new things before you find what you really love. Have fun with the process!
Nurture yourself. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself as you would a child. Be sure you get enough sleep, food, etc. Provide comfort for yourself any time you can.
Do the hard stuff too, and spend time adulting so you provide yourself the security you deserve. You may think this sounds like the opposite of “soothing”. I do too, but having all the hard stuff dealt with removes a lot of stress. Pay the bills, make the doctor appts, etc.
Provide visual cues
Pick some quotes you like, or phrases that click with you, and tape them up where you will see them through the day. These can provide perspective and hopefully curb any negative self-talk you may have.
Your self-esteem is ingrained and it is going to take repetition to change. Don’t just choose what ever positive cliché you run across first. Make sure you choose something that really resonates with you and you agree with.
Lack of success does not equal failure. You only truly fail if you quit trying. Instead, “failure” can be viewed as learning opportunities, chances to grow, and steps along the way to your goal. None of those things are negative! You don’t need to fear trying something and not being successful right away, if you look at it with this perspective. Many very successful people describe “failure” the same way.
Again, these aren’t magic steps or anything. Choosing a few to practice daily can help you start building yourself up though, and that will develop your self-worth. Gradually, you will see yourself overcome low self-esteem.
If you find any of these ideas helpful, please share on your favorite social media site. Thank you for stopping by the blog!